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Firehorse
Productions, Inc. and Midori's Newsletter
April 2, 2003
Table
of contents
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dear Readers,
It's been a while since I've released one of my essays here... so
here's one that appeared recently in my monthly column for Spectator
Magazine.
Let me know what you think!
Midori
Column
Title: "Babylon Bound" for Spectator Magazine
Date: February 5, 2003
Copyright: Midori 2003
Working Title: The Sexual Turn on of Objectifying Women
He's bound to the black leather-topped table. His face and humanity
obliterated by the smooth contours of a leather mask.
I tear at his vulnerable flesh with implements of intense passions.
A moment ago, he was my dear companion and equal. Now he is meat.
My meat.
She is arching her back with strained grace through space in my
web of ropes. I move her limb, just so, to accentuate the arc to
please my aesthetics.
She is beautiful.
I make her comfortable.
I am aware that I do this, not for her pleasure, but so that she
may last longer and be more pliable to be the means to express my
erotic vision.
A moment ago, she was my dearest consort and fully actually human
being. Now she is a raw canvas.
My canvas.
I had a sexual secret. It's not a secret anymore. It's a desire
that I now know to present cautiously to others, because it's still
very taboo.
I am often turned on by objectifying my partners.
Objectification of women. . . and men. But right now, my turn-on
by the objectification of women is foremost on my mind.
If I were younger, I'd feel more than a twinge of guilt as I admitted
to this.
I don't feel that so much now.
The discomfort in my own emotion has faded to a curiosity. I do,
however, take pleasure in witnessing the uncomfortable squirming
of others as I utter this truth of my own sexuality.
I know they are squirming because they've felt what I've described
and aren't comfortable with it in themselves to admit, boldfaced,
to such a desire.
These days it's easy to explain why flogging, bondage and even heavier
play such as piercings are such a turn on. We blame it on the neural
chemicals and other physiological effects. It seems biologically
accountable, and this makes us feel comfortable.
We find justification of sexual acts in theories of organic prederminism
of pleasure.
Nonphysical taboos, such as sexual arousal from objectification
of others or being objectified, still makes us nervous, because
we can't explain it away. Because it's still politically incorrect,
even within the SM / Leather / Fetish community, to acknowledge
that we do things to strip away humanity from a person for pleasure
and play.
It is even more socially incorrect, causing some serious discomfort
in people, when the objectification is of a woman, and worse still,
by another woman.
If I'm really a feminist as I claim to be, how could I do such a
thing to another woman? Mustn't I always respect another woman and
cherish her complexity? Isn't my desire and action an outward expression
of some internalized self-loathing and misogyny? Do I have some
sort of God complex?
Answers respectively:
With glee.
Not if that's what the two of us want.
No.
Yes, in some ways, yes.
Let me explain.
Sex is one of the few arenas left to us "civilized" citizens
of "First World" nations where we are permitted to indulge
in the performance of primal drives. We are allowed a slim portion
of our existence in sex, to play out the fundamental human psychological
dramas.
Sports is the other sanctuary for expressing profound honesty of
our raw selves. In both worlds, we are permitted to show our teeth
of aggression and bellies of subordenance.
We spit, hiss, growl, compete, moan, touch, embrace, shudder and
scream.
We long to belong, hunger to conquer and are inexplicably driven
to create beauty. We are all quite complex creatures with many layered
needs and desires, many of which are at times at odds with another.
I want to be respected for my complexity, yet I wish to be adored
for some singular aspect of myself.
I wish for a full and busy life, yet I crave simplicity and focus.
I want to share in the responsibility of pleasure, yet I want to
'just get done' free of effort.
I wish to honor equality, yet I feel a need for power and hierarchy.
All I have mentioned applies to sex as well.
This is simply to illustrate that we are conflicted and complex
creatures. If I am to be self actualized as a woman and a feminist,
I must own the conflicted nature of the self and claim my sexual
pleasure, complexity and all. To do that, I must be open to all
my own social discomforts that my lusts bring forth. Then I must
find another person, whose desires and complexity dovetails with
mine. If I wish to conquer flesh to get off, then I will find another
who gets off by being conquered. The matter of force then retreats
into the sanctioned arena of consensual sexuality.
But why the objectification of other women? There's an inkling,
deep inside me, that perhaps I seek this companionship in another
woman because she might understand my needs better.
Perhaps, in acting out the hunger to conquer, posses or create upon
another flesh, I seek to express my own counter-part desire in the
other woman, thus creating a fully balanced sphere of desire. Somewhere
I become both her and I. The orgasm leaves me calmed, not simply
for a physical need sated, but for creating a moment of balance
and harmony of my own complexity.
Then perhaps the dirty truth is I am both the top and the bottom
for a moment. I am creating a universe of two people, where I determine
the actions of both and my desires permeates both. I become, for
a brief and fluttering instant omniscient. Then, for that very moment,
in that small universe, am I not a god? I create a simplified and
pure world reduced to lust and symbols. As a god, I have nothing
else to worry about except to fulfill my desires. As part of god,
she has nothing else to worry about except to surrender all worries.
Is this escapist? Yes, it is. But that's what pleasure and entertainment
is about, isn't it? Sex and sports are, in the end, about pleasure
and entertainment. When we have moments to focus on creating pleasure,
play with our primal drives, and forget our obligations, we feel
freer. It's a mini-vacation from the additional complexity that
the world thrusts upon us.
This is why my friend, AX, has a dirty little fantasy. She wants
to be bound, blindfolded and used simply for her three holes by
unknown number of people. This isn't simply hot and nasty; it's
mini-vacation that's freeing and self-celebratory.
Objectifications take on many forms. Some are the clay to the artist,
others are the pure sexual victims for consenting perpetrators.
Still others are transformed to pets or to furniture. Certain forms
of D/s and Master/slave relationships take on qualities of objectification
as well.
There is a huge difference, however, between the erotic objectification
we're discussing and the every day objectification of women by the
world. That hurts. It hurts because the woman did not consent nor
set up the situation. It hurts because those objectifying her do
not see the complexity and richness of who she is. Instead of starting
from a place of compassion, love and understanding which is narrowed
down to simplicity of symbols, it is a brute force refusal of humanity
with no room for seeing the whole person. It is a weapon used to
attack others in order to protect the fragile offender. Instead
of celebrating complexity, it comes from the fear of complexity.
Do you get off on consensual erotic objectification? I do.
*~*~*
Appalled: Cell phones invading sacred arenas.
During my recent travels, I received a call from a professional
dominant who wanted to take a skills tutorial from me. This is something
I do for individuals, couples and professional dominants. They receive
a customized seminar that's one-on-one. I returned her call and
she answered.
She then told me that she could not speak long as she was in the
middle of a session.
I thought it odd, so I asked her if she actually answered the phone
in the MIDDLE of a session. To which she answered that in her 'line
of business' she felt she had to do this.
I found this appalling and rude. It is inconsiderate to the client
and unprofessional in general. I found it really insulting to my
former craft and profession.
While we're talking about cell phones: Please, turn off those cell
phones in the dungeons.
I know that when one is playing in an on-line dungeon, one can take
calls, chat, and go about in the day to day business, while playing
at SM.
In the real dungeons, sex parties and play parties, it's really
in poor form to ruin someone's orgasm or cathartic moment because
of the phone ringing or casual chatter with the outside world.
*~*~*
Overjoyed! Return of Grand Fetish events to San Francisco
For a while there, our little Sodom by the Bay seemed to
be experiencing a drought of major fetish events. During the dot.com
boom years, there seemed to be a serious damper on the fetish party
scene here, possibly due to space availability, rising overall living
expenses for the freakish types and creeping conservatism.
Dot.bomb has some benefits, in that freaks, performers, promoters
and pervs are coming out of hiding and hibernation from under their
PVC rocks and behind rubber bushes.
Former high tech paper tiger millionaires now have time to come
out and play and must be looking for fun and affordable things to
do that are uniquely San Francisco, instead of getting the clubs
shut down for being noise in the South Of Market area.
Club Sin
is back on the second Friday of every month at The Rawhide on 280
Seventh St. at Folsom St. in San Francisco. Their info line is at
415-626-4561.
The grapevine's also buzzing with the rumor of the return of Club
Slick. I'll keep my ears to the ground for that one!
Madame S announced
the date for the upcoming San Francisco Fetish Ball as April 26th.
This promises to be a huge event with international talents flying
in. Not all the information's out yet, but stay tuned at their
website or call (415) 863-WHIP to get the direct scoop.
So go out and shop for the sexy new outfits and party away the economic
blues and political frustrations!
Midori
*~*~*~*
2. Where to find back issues of Midori's
Musings eNewsletter
If you're new to my eNewsletter list or if you missed one recently
you can always read the back issues at www.FHP-inc.com.
Just go to my educational web site and click on Newsletter where
you'll find the last post as well as the recent archives.
There you'll find information on the upcoming classes this month
in Boston, Minneapollis, Arizona and San Francisco.
There are a few spots still in the Boston and SF classes, so let
me know if you have any questions.
*~*~*~*
3. On-line community resource groups
Have questions about kink, human sexuality, pervy travel info, events
question or just want to visit with me?
Maybe you have an event to post. Maybe you're looking for a job
or room mate within the kinky community.
Please feel free to post in my free discussion groups.
That's
why they're there.
One is at www.BeautyBound.com
and the other is a yahoo group called divamidori
See you around!
With
pervy wishes
Midori
P.S. If you want to read my past eNewsletters, click on "archived"
in the menu to the left.
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